god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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