Me. At least after what I've been through.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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