I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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