I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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