I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize