bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize