Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Boobs speak an international language.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
3 2 1 whiskey
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