why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
