wanna go halves on a baby?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
whose parrot is this?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
