Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
