nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
