nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
