at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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