last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
