i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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