Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
