Whod you bang
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
