haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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