Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize