Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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