He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I want to fling myself into the sun
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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