i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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