I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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