Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
