She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
