So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
