we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
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