the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
