you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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