Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
