you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
