For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think my vagina is haunted
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
