I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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