its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
