I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
