i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
