What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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