I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
