Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize