i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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