Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
