It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
