didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Panties = found
Randomize
