I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
