Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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