Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
