you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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