So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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