he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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