I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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