I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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