high people should be assigned attendants
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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