I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
