Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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