He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
