I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
