My brain says no but my pants say off.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize