Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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