Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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