just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize
