apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
