you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
