How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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