Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Randomize
