I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
