Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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