i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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