That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
