Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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