gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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