I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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