You're completely useless in the revolution.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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