is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize