yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
