i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
