im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
