As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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