well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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