haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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