Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
