Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
