i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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